Behind Closed Doors, Narcissists

Behind Closed Doors of Narcissistic Abuse

Behind closed doors are where Narcissists’ dark characteristics are most visible. Those who live with them, or are in close relationships with them, will see the underbelly of their hideous behavior while others, who are not behind closed doors, will never be the wiser to the depths of these types of people’s destruction.

Though we must own our own actions, toxic people have a way of bringing out the worst in our behavior and words. Ugh!

In fact, there are those certain toxic entities (such as Sociopathic people) who strive to organize particular set-ups to bring about reactions from us which are not part of our natural personalities. They use they provoked responses to gaslight us.

Thus, when we look back at our behaviors, we realize how alien we were to ourselves, and later might even think “why did I do/say those things?”, or “even though I did/said those things, I don’t feel like that was the real me”.

Behind Closed Doors With Toxic People

Behind Closed Doors in Toxic Relationships

Part of the reason toxic people can bring about certain undesirable actions and/or communications is because they cause an addiction-like need for their presence through the crumbs they feed their recipients. So, we become puppet-like under the rush of their control.

Other reasons for our own negative behaviors, or words, that can come about from being with a toxic person might include:

1). Exhaustion:

Exhaustion can abound when destructive people are in our lives, and when we are in this state, we do and say things we wouldn’t do so in ordinary circumstances;

2). Guilt:

Toxic people bring out intense guilt in their victims because of their pity-plays and also blaming everything on us (Boo Hoo!);

3). Cognitive Dissonance:

It’s a confusing existence, living in a relationship, or any type of scenario, where we believe in our heart that which is opposite from what we know as fact. This unsettling condition can make us indecisive, and unsure of how to respond, or behave;

4). Loss of Identity:

Toxic people can cause us to lose our sense of identity. Ungrounded  identities can cause behavior to not correlate to the rational self;

5). Poor Boundaries:

Poor boundaries can make us wander in an aimless fashion not adhering to our core values;

6). Fear:

Fear of loss can cause acting out or speaking in manners not natural for us. The threat of gaining something (such as a painful punishment), can also provoke us to behave out of the norm;

7). Dishonesty to Ourselves:

By talking ourselves into believing what we are about to do, or say, “isn’t all that bad” triggers misaligned emotions when deep inside, our conscience is saying, “yes, it is all that bad”.

Behind Closed Doors With Toxic People

Behind Closed Doors in Toxic Relationships

In conclusion, even though we must handle our own actions and words, sometimes there is more going on, under the radar, than what the eyes can see. It is not always a cut and dry situation.

If we find that we have acted or spoken way out of character, let’s do a bit of investigating.

Let’s find out the who, what, when, where, and why of what is beneath, behind, above the surrounding situation before we judge ourselves, or others, too harshly.

It probably will make all the difference in the world.

Luke 8:17

For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.


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  1. You got it! I am an Empath and tend to attract narcissists! Omg… my whole life is surrounded by these people… and now I am saying no and giving them attitude… power is back in my hands…


  2. We must do somethin about that, Tamara! After all, a closed door can hide so much more that a Narcissist’s deprivations. Or a more generally mundane diseased past.

    Yes, those, of course, but also mystery, intrigue, and potential delight. Something that captivates the soul and stirs the imagination. A million magical “what if?”s that make the heart flutter and anticipation purr.

    Liked by 1 person

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