Broken Child

Broken Child - Tamara Yancosky- BBYCGN

Broken Child –

The painful emptiness that we cope with daily, from our broken childhoods, can make us susceptible to dangerous addictions in order to fill our inner-voids.

One such dangerous addiction that victims of childhood abuse or neglect might suffer from is that of a compelling attachment toward toxic relationships with Narcissists or Sociopaths.

Though inconceivable to some, these dangerous bonds are a subconscious attempt to heal our broken childhoods by proving to ourselves that we can make an individual who is incapable of love or compassion, to develop such feelings for us.

Many of us felt unloved and unimportant while growing up, thus we seek validation from others to prove we are deserving of love and acceptance. The broken child inside the adult goes about earning the acceptance and care that we so craved from as far back as infancy.

In order to heal these childhood wounds, and make it right, again, we choose from those individuals just as incapable of meeting are needs, as were our mothers, fathers, and/or caretakers.

Being that this is a subconscious process, we do not seek toxic relationships on purpose, but we draw them in like magnets.

Since Narcissists are predators and opportunists, they target in on our vulnerabilities and weaknesses, and ensnare us.

However, despite every Red Flag or the overstepping of our boundaries by these Dark Personalities, we do not let go. We have much inner-work to do on our broken inner-child.

If any of these points sound incorrect, this is just my opinion because of my own experiences.

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2 Samuel 22:33-34

God is my strength and power: and he maketh my way perfect. He maketh my feet like hinds’ feet: and setteth me upon my high places.

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Copyright BBYCGN

Broken Child - Tamara Yancosky- BBYCGN

Broken Child - Tamara Yancosky- BBYCGN

 

 

Broken Child - Tamara Yancosky- BBYCGN
Broken Child - Tamara Yancosky- BBYCGN Broken Child - Tamara Yancosky- BBYCGN Broken Child - Tamara Yancosky- BBYCGN Broken Child - Tamara Yancosky- BBYCGN Broken Child - Tamara Yancosky- BBYCGN Broken Child - Tamara Yancosky- BBYCGN

 

Backwards People

Reality Bites The Dust

45 Comments

    1. Same, here, Michelle. I feel like I am always searching for something… even though I already have everything I could possibly want, or need.

      I think it’s just that sense of “needing to fill a void”. This void has ever only been able to be filled by God. But, sometimes I get distracted by worldly situations, and terrifyingly wander away from Him. Yet, He has never let go of me.

      Thank you for your sweet comment ♥️

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Nika your welcome! Today I just took down my walls and I literally opened myself up to M, and we had like a 4 hour or so chat online, and he somehow has now become my FP. And its like now the floogates have opened. We begin a symbiotic relationship, I am on a high, and so is he. I have no idea where this will go. But he will not leave now, not after the complete ultra pure connection I gave him, he has never felt anything like it. I know i should not do this, but I needed to fill the void, and im going down a dangerous road. It was either that or kill myself, because im so desperately hurt inside….

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Michelle,

          I am so sorry for your pain, and I do understand it! I think you know, that I know what it feels like.

          Please be careful because if this individual is a Narcissist, there can be no good outcome. I only am speaking from experience.

          And, I really don’t think it’s a good idea to tempt yourself away from someone who is not your husband.

          I do understand the “high”, of being in love.

          I am sorry you are no longer on blog. I do not think you are prohibited from being on there, especially if it helps you to connect with other who “get it”.

          Like

          1. It doesn’t matter anyways, I will move on. Its just a shame as I liked a few supportive ones in there and they seemed to get me too…. But then I got other things to think about now, and be distracted with as I said….and yes I will be careful!

            Liked by 1 person

        1. Oh, I am sorry if you have emailed me and I have not, yet, responded.

          Sometimes I don’t check my email for several days, or just get really busy.

          Your emails are fine. No worries 🌺🌹💐

          Like

  1. Once I connect with an FP, and attachment starts, it just all comes out, the most passionate, and wonderful things you can say….my heart completely opens up and they have access…. And it flows out and its intoxicating, thats how he described it, and me. And I know because I’ve had other FP’s but he has never experienced this before so he can’t get enough of it….. I’m taking him on a new journey it seems. And I have no idea where it will lead.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Michelle, what is an “FP”? BTW, I know what you mean, and you described it so well about opening up and all of these beautiful words (sights, sounds, scents, textures, ETC.,) come alive! Everything comes alive! Life becomes a poetic masterpiece… it seems.

      Like

      1. Also, I do not need to have any kind of physical relationship with someone, I just need the emotional side of it. I am happy for him to see and go out with his girlfriend, and I do not mind him even talking about her. He says there are elements missing, and I know what elements he is talking about. She does not engage his brain enough emotionally and otherwise. I do. This is what I am good at. So this I am happy to be an NISS if he is a narc. I try to keep it there. Most women want to be an IPPS/IPSS. I do not…. I am happy being here. This way you can enjoy them but from the right distance.

        Like

          1. Non Intimate Secondary Source. IF he is a narc, that is what I am and have been with quite a few over the years. The trouble is keeping it non-intimate, and it can be difficult, but I’ve always managed to. Intimacy scares me and I do not go there.

            Like

                  1. And as predicted….he wants an affair, has said he wants everything….” There are no limits”…. He says….. Also he says our relationship can be anything we want it to be….
                    I’m trying to make him aware of the consequences of such and how much I would lose or jeopardise and trying to talk sense into him. But yes he wants ALL. I’ve told him I cannot give him that.
                    This is like playing with fire!
                    He says he has liked me for a long time and its only been growing over time, etc, so I talked about poop and farts and different stuff, to take away the desire, but he is still not phased….. It was funny though….. He said my honesty only brought him closer….
                    This is tough…. Why won’t he just let me be an NISS. Nope he wants to install me as his IPPS.

                    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m sorry Nika, I should not have filled up your blog with my pointless stuff. I will no longer do so. I guess I was reaching out somehow…. I apologise….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. No, Michelle…please do not be sorry. All of your comments are welcome.

      You know how how, we,
      writers love comments! LOL.

      If it takes me a bit of time to get to your comments, do not take it personally. I always read, and get back to each one!

      Comment away! ✏️✏️✏️

      Please be careful, and step away if you know this man wants an affair. It sounds like, from what you have told me, you have a kind and patient husband. I would be amiss to not say otherwise.

      Like

      1. Thanks Eliza. That’s kind of you. Just to add, the man in question I talk of throughout this I no longer have any contact with. He would just keep ghosting and/or ignoring me. It was getting stupid. I am so much better without him around.

        Liked by 2 people

          1. I am trying Nika, I try not to let anything in that I feel may or could harm me. Especially mentally/psychological/emotional.
            I prefer a stress-free environment, and if I cannot deal with something very well, or do anything about it, then I will try not to react to it. I now care about myself enough to not let a toxic person’s influence disturb my peace. I am still not well physically right now, (awaiting results from blood tests) But mentally/emotionally I am probably stronger than I have ever been.

            Liked by 1 person

          1. Eliza, I know this is for Michelle, but I just wanted to mention, real quick, that I have a DBT Workbook that I do on my own. It’d be more motivating with a group, though, of course. If you want me to send you any pics of the workbook pages, just let me know!

            Liked by 1 person

          2. Yes I have done some DBT…
            It is not a cure all, but it helps. It has to be practiced a lot for it to work.
            Get the green book, and do it yourself…. That’s what I did.
            “The Dialectical Behaviour Therapy Skills Workbook.” It’s a Harbinger Self-help workbook, by Matthew Mckay,Jeffrey C Wood, and Jeffrey Brantley.

            Liked by 1 person

            1. It’s an idea one day – when I’ve actually gotten into therapy (just starting) can think about something new.
              I don’t think anything can ever be a cure all! Though I’d love to buy a magic wand to wave…

              Liked by 2 people

  3. based on my experience, your thoughts are right on target. I have always crushed on narcissistic bad boys. I even dated a con that my friends boyfriend arranged while in prison through her. talk about being stupid

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bunny, I am sorry for taking so long to reply to your comment! I just wanted to say that we all do things that we regret later, or wish we could take back. The important thing is that you are in a safer situation, now.

      ♥️♥️♥️

      Like

  4. So true, dear Nika! Although I have not been attracted to narcissists, interestingly they’ve been attracted to me and have been very upset when I’ve spurned them or been considered “better” than them – this has been in the several of my workplaces – and you are right it’s upset me because of the unsealed childhood trauma that I’ve experienced. I have to say though that the breast cancer has forced me to deal with that and now I find a sense of peace and calm – at times that I have never before felt! Thank you for sharing and making this a safe place for us with our broken wings to come to and even mend a little more! Donna 🧚🏻‍♀️❤️🙏 donnadoesdresses.com

    Liked by 1 person

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