Behind these closed, solid-wood doors are where Narcissists’ dark characteristics are most visible. Those who live with them, or are in close relationships with them, will see their hideously, ugly behavior while others, who are not behind closed doors, will never be the wiser to the depths of these destructive people.
Though we are responsible for our own actions, I would like to bear witness to the fact that toxic people do have a way of bringing out the worst in our actions, behaviors, and words. Ugh!
In fact, there are those certain toxic entities (such as Sociopathic people) who strive to organize particular set-ups that bring about reactions from us, that are not part of our natural personalities, so as to gaslight us.
Thus, when we look back at these provoked behaviors, which we carried through, we realize how alien we were to even ourselves, and later, might even find ourselves thinking “Why did I do/say that?”, or “Even though I did/said those things, I don’t feel like it actually came from me”.
Behind Closed Doors
Part of the reason, I believe, that toxic people are able to bring about certain undesirable actions and/or communications from us is because of the “addiction to them” that their kind brings about in us.
When influenced by this intense addiction, being controlled by the rush that the Narcissist’s fix can give to us is common.
Other reasons for our own negative behaviors, or words, that can come about from being with a toxic person might include:
Being around toxic people is incredibly and profoundly exhausting, and when we are in this state, we tend to do and say things that we wouldn’t do so normally;
Toxic people have a way of bringing out intense guilt in their victims due to their “plays of pity”; and furthermore, actually blaming their troubles on us (Boo Hoo!);
3). Cognitive Dissonance:
It’s a very confusing existence, living in a relationship, or any type of scenario, where we believe something opposite from what we know as fact. This painfully, unsettling condition can make us indecisive, and unsure of how to respond, or behave;
4). Loss of Identity:
Toxic people can cause us to lose sense of identity, and when our identities are not grounded, we tend to act, behave, or speak in ways that are not in correlation to our true selves;
5). Loose Boundaries:
Not having firm boundaries can cause us to wander aimlessly in our behavior, and not according with our true makeup, or core values.
Fear of the loss of something, or someone, can result in acting, or speaking in manners that are not natural for us. Furthermore, the threat of gaining something (such as a painful punishment), can also provoke us to behave out of norm.
7). Dishonesty to Ourselves:
Talking ourselves into believing that what we are about to do, or say, “it isn’t really all that bad”, when deep inside, our conscience is tugging at saying, “yes, it really is all that bad”.
Behind Closed Doors
In conclusion, even though we are responsible for our own actions and words, sometimes there is more going on, behind the scenes, than meets the eye. It is not always a cut and dry situation.
My main point to this entire post really is: if we find that someone has done or said things that seem contrary to the upstanding character that we know they naturally own, then let’s do a bit of investigating.
Let’s find out the entire who, what, when, where, and why of what is beneath, behind, above, and surrounding the situation before we judge merely that in front of us.
It probably will make all the difference in the world!
We have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.
For all that is secret will eventually be brought into the open, and everything that is concealed will be brought to light and made known to all.