Pirate Adventures

Pirate Adventures

Pirate Adventures –

About five months ago, I was a pirate with a map, a wooden leg, and everything else that an efficient pirate needs. I even wore a hook at the end of my right hand. (I am left-handed, and therefore, I needed my left hand for signing important documents (such as The Clearinghouse Sweepstakes’ Contest, just in the unlikely event that I might not have found the buried treasure chest).

AARRGH!

I liked how when I walked around, my wooden leg made that ‘thump, thump’ noise on the ship’s deck. I would even listen to disco music on my portable boom-box, so I could do my dance moves, and hear my wooden-leg knock against the deck, in a fast rhythm.

It only took one fall for my two front teeth to become loose, but it was the second fall which finally knocked them out completely. I was still able to keep to my seafood diet, though, since fish is not crunchy.

Being a pirate had always been my long-term career goal ever since I was old enough to start envisioning magnificent dreams!

Pirate Adventures

I imagined being out in the deep blue ocean, among the fishes, and slick black dolphins, sailing on the untamed currents of the sea.

I would have a laminated, oak wood ship, with a huge azure-colored sail. My ship would look quaint on the outside, hiding the lavish inside living quarters, where I would find comfort from the harsh weather.

Upon opening my ship’s front door, the inside would boast of a lovely living room with a royal-blue, plush Lazy-Boy reclining chair, that would sit in front of the solar-powered TV set. There would be a dining room, with a crystal chandelier hanging over its table, and a bedroom decorated with lavender curtains over the bay windows. I would have a bunk bed where I could put all my stuffed animals and writing material on the bottom bunk, and I would sleep on the top.

Pirate Adventures

Of course, even with all my visions and dreams of being a pirate, I never imagined that I would lose my left eye! This was the unfortunate result of my forgetting that I am I ambidextrous, and therefore, when I used my right hand (the one with the metal hook on it) to scratch my left eye, it sustained its great battle wound. I will leave out the bloody and gory details because it was not a pretty sight.
Have you ever heard the sound of a wooden leg frantically hitting a wooden deck, while at the same time, listening to the sound of your own eyeball rolling around, in unison, to the movements of your ship?

I turned back on the disco music because I thought it all had such a fantastic rhythm, together!

Anyway, this is just a meager recap of my secret life as a pirate.

Perhaps someday, I will tell you more about my adventures at sea. I must put the pen to rest now, though, as my good eye is becoming fatigued from overuse.

AARRGH!

Copyright ©BBYCGN

Pirate Adventures, BBYCGN

 

13 Comments

  1. Ah, you conjure the most tastefully-appointed ship in the history of piracy. How many times were you tempted to hoist the Jolly Roger, but decided against it because it would clash with the day’s color theme, or its fluttering might drown out Abba?

    Yo Ho Ho!

    Liked by 2 people

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