Pirate Adventures

Pirate Adventures –

About five months ago, I was a pirate with a map, a wooden leg, and everything else that an efficient pirate needs. I even wore a hook at the end of my right hand. (I am left-handed, and therefore, I needed my left hand for signing important documents (such as The Clearinghouse Sweepstakes’ Contest, just in the unlikely event that I might not have found the buried treasure chest).

AARRGH!

I liked how when I walked around, my wooden leg made that ‘thump, thump’ noise on the ship’s deck. I would even listen to disco music on my portable boom-box, so I could do my dance moves, and hear my wooden-leg knock against the deck, in a fast rhythm.

It only took one fall for my two front teeth to become loose, but it was the second fall which finally knocked them out completely. I was still able to keep to my seafood diet, though, since fish is not crunchy.

Being a pirate had always been my long-term career goal ever since I was old enough to start envisioning magnificent dreams!

Pirate Adventures

I imagined being out in the deep blue ocean, among the fishes, and slick black dolphins, sailing on the untamed currents of the sea.

I would have a laminated, oak wood ship, with a huge azure-colored sail. My ship would look quaint on the outside, hiding the lavish inside living quarters, where I would find comfort from the harsh weather.

Upon opening my ship’s front door, the inside would boast of a lovely living room with a royal-blue, plush Lazy-Boy reclining chair, that would sit in front of the solar-powered TV set. There would be a dining room, with a crystal chandelier hanging over its table, and a bedroom decorated with lavender curtains over the bay windows. I would have a bunk bed where I could put all my stuffed animals and writing material on the bottom bunk, and I would sleep on the top.

Pirate Adventures

Of course, even with all my visions and dreams of being a pirate, I never imagined that I would lose my left eye! This was the unfortunate result of my forgetting that I am I ambidextrous, and therefore, when I used my right hand (the one with the metal hook on it) to scratch my left eye, it sustained its great battle wound. I will leave out the bloody and gory details because it was not a pretty sight.

Have you ever heard the sound of a wooden leg frantically hitting a wooden deck, while at the same time, listening to the sound of your own eyeball rolling around, in unison, to the movements of your ship?

I turned back on the disco music because I thought it all had such a fantastic rhythm, together!

Anyway, this is just a meager recap of my secret life as a pirate.

Perhaps someday, I will tell you more about my adventures at sea. I must put the pen to rest now, though, as my good eye is becoming fatigued from overuse.

AARRGH!

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