Loving Ourselves!

Loving Ourselves is Important 

The Narcissist’s Love Bombing mimics the “happily ever after” fairytale love that many of us read about from as far back as early youth when we were babes and brats running around in our Sponge-Bob Pull-ups.  Henceforth, We attempt, in joyful anticipation, to sacrifice our life’s energies into the fulfilling of our perceived need of this ecstatic state of such perfect love!

In our consuming, almost desperate search, to fulfill this mission of ardent yearning, we forget to give to ourselves this long-awaited love, first. We neglect to thoughtfully and respectfully care for ourselves, as we would do so, kindly and passionately, a dearly beloved, or even our own child.

Thus, our dawning excitement for a soul mate, that once flooded us with joyful anticipation, turns into great anxiety as we desperately search for someone to fill the deep void caused by our own self-neglect.

We then begin to radiate traits, such as desperation and great need, which predators instinctively hone in on, thus, making us easy targets for Dark Personalities and their dung-infested, dangerous traps.

The ongoing neglect of ourselves weakens the entirety of our inner-constitution, so much so, that we become openly vulnerable to the Love Bombing of Covert Narcissists and the Sociopath, who mirror our desires and needs (while taking special interest in our weaknesses for later use); thereby, shape-shifting into the persona of our fairytale dreams.

The pedestal, which Narcissists place us on, is intoxicating, but only to make our eventual, inevitable fall as shocking and ruthlessly painful, as possible.

Loving Ourselves is Important!

When we start thinking about perfect fairytale love, let’s remind ourselves of how “Three Blind Mice” (who went looking for their soul mate lover-mice) “got their tails cut off with a carving knife”.

And, let’s not forget about that dark time in history when “Humpty-Dumpty” became the tragic reason for the overcrowding of many public orphanages, as countless mommies and daddies slid and fell to their violent deaths, due to “Humpty-Dumpty’s” yellow brain-matter oozing out all over the city streets on account of his great fall, while he sat on a high wall, serenading his fantasy egg. ‘Tis sad, indeed. 

With this thought, it is imperative that we begin loving ourselves, unconditionally, with the healthy love that we enduringly wish to give to our envisioned soul mate, and only then, take on our casual search for that special person, not to complete us, but rather, to take delight in, as a joyous addition to the person-of-wholeness in whom we already are.

And, we should always be aware of the concrete truth that the only perfect love which we will ever meet, if we so choose, can only be found in God, through our Savior, Jesus Christ!

Ephesians 5:29 ESV

For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.

Mark 12:31 ESV

The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”

Loving Ourselves is Important!

Loving Ourselves, Tamara Yancosky

Loving Ourselves, Tamara Yancosky

Loving Ourselves, Tamara Yancosky

Loving Ourselves, Tamara Yancosky

Loving Ourselves, Tamara Yancosky

Loving Ourselves, Tamara Yancosky

Loving Ourselves, Tamara Yancosky

Loving Ourselves, Tamara Yancosky

My Strange Addiction – Poetry

Grateful Hearts – Short Story

Fleeting Moments – Poetry

 

Tamara Yancosky 

9 Comments

    1. Thank you, Gbolabo! Loving ourselves is not a selfish or vanity type of love, but rather a healthy respect for ourselves that enables us to hold on to our boundaries, be safe, and be cautious of predators 🙂 We should also think gentle and kind, uplifting thoughts. Hugs!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Very true, Tamara. Astute observations, all of them.

    Only a modest but healthy self-regard allows one to appreciate (and to take in) all the world offers, including love.

    The Narcissist, in contrast, is so full of himself, there’s little room for anything else. Actually, I would argue narcissism ultimately rises from excessive self -loathing, not love, but that’s a discussion for another day…

    Liked by 1 person

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