Dates With Narcissists?
WTF???, right… ?
I don’t want to bore you with any long introductions, so…
Dates with Narcissists might happen because:
1).… I didn’t know they were Narcissists due to their well-placed mask;
2). … the dysfunctional nature of my childhood upbringing, I was unable to see the Red Flags whipping about so loudly in the wind;
3). … once I started to actually listen to my intuition, and see the warning signs, I already had developed Stockholm Syndrome, and had built up an addiction to the times where I wasn’t being hurt, or even more so, the crumbs thrown to me beneath the table of so-called niceties;
4). … it might even be as simple as another well-meaning person getting caught, and ensnared by a deceptive, cunning, personality disordered individual.
Dates With Narcissists?
I mean, how could I have ever imagined that among normal, everyday human beings, walking alongside of us, existed remorseless entities (Narcissists and Sociopathic Personalities), that are actually unable to feel empathy, or even have a working conscience; and furthermore, whose very existence is contingent on relentlessly hurting others by psychologically and spiritually torturing them?
Who knew?
I always thought that cruel people looked mean and chilling, like olé Freddy Krueger…
Dates With Narcissists?
Why, I had no concept, in my wildest imagination (and mind you, it is pretty wild), that Narcissists or Sociopathic Personalities could be our friendly next door neighbor, a helpful grocery store clerk, a coworker, a boss, or even a kind doctor handing out Tootsie Roll Lollipops (by the way, did anyone ever find out how many licks it actually does take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Lollipop? They always said that “the world may never know“. Is this true that we still don’t know)?
Most definitely, however, I would never have considered that it would have been my own soul mate! Ouch!
I’d like to repeat that: OUCH!
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Galatians 5:22-23
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
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Copyright ©BBYCGN
Tamara Yancosky
Sorry to hear you had this experience. I wish you the best of luck with renewing and maintaining a sense of self-worth. My two cents: I’ve heard so many stories from individuals who say they are trapped in abusive relationships but never choose to leave. I believe that choosing to stay in a relationship with someone who mistreats us is a form of self-harm. As a result, I’ve learned to ask each person if they want to remain in the relationship. Many go to counsellors because the abuse is so bad but usually they ask the counsellor to help them change the abusive partner. Most want a relationship with the sociopath that exists only as a fantasy. The dynamic is similar to substance addiction. After recognising the red flags, the very difficult next step, which is where we mostly stumble, is making the choice to stop self-harming.
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Sabiscuit,
Thank you for your wise comment! You are right about the addiction. I have even heard it said that Sociopaths somehow purposely create an addiction in the victim with their “hot & cold” behavior, or giving of “crumbs”.
Yes, it is an intense addiction which is why the best and healthiest solution is No Contact with these kind. ♥️
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I agree that we should strive to find healthy solutions. Goodness knows I’ve made mistakes, thinking that I could co-exist with a sociopath. Thank you for responding to the spirit of positive support I meant to convey in my comments. Stay determined and aware. More support will reach you.
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Sabiscuit, your comments are immensely kind and supportive, and I am obliged. I see that you have also experience with ‘these kind’, and have felt the ‘hope to change them’, or at least, “co-exist” with ‘these kind’.
I have heard from both Supporters as well as Victim-Blamers, and even Narcissists, themselves. I love the Supporters! When I first started blogging, I would get completely bent-out-of-shape over the haters and Narcissists, but now I’m used to it, and don’t get them as much since I barely react, anymore (lol, I’m learning!).
I remember when I almost stopped blogging all together because I once had a fellow blogger call me a Sociopathic Narcissist because he couldn’t get one of my links to work! I fretted for over two weeks. Now, I can laugh about it.
I have been blogging for several years, but have deactivated my account several times, only to start all over, again, many more times (due to criticism and harsh words). Now, I don’t even care, anymore, about what others say (even though no one says anything, negative, anymore because I no longer react, or maybe they do, and I just don’t notice..:).
But, I always love and cherish those who share their own stories with me, or offer their kind words. At the very least, I am happy to know I am helping others to not feel so alone in the craziness that ones gets cast out into during Narcissistic Abuse. If I can alleviate others’ isolation, somehow, and offer hope, and enlightenment, then it is enough reward for me. 😊
Thank you, Sabiscuit; your comment is a welcome ray of sunlight to brighten my day! ♥️
Hugs,
Tamara
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You’re so right about that: I have been there and tried that. It’s taken a huge toll on my physical health. I think after a while I changed my priorities and decided to love myself. I used to work to prove my worth to people who are incapable of caring. So glad you can shake it all off. Keep doing what feels right for you. Big hugs, Tamara. xoxo
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♥️ ♥️ ♥️
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It is so terrible, the way your life had gone. May all your days now be filled with joy and positivity.
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Thank you, Lanning ♥️I have had rainbows mixed in with the black clouds… lots of them. Praise God! 🌈
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Ouch indeed! Just like those who’ve been abused or hurt, it’s deception and hurt that you couldn’t have anticipated and it’s never your/the victim’s fault. Shame they don’t look like Krueger, it’d make dating a lot easier! 😂
Caz xx
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It sure would make dating easier, Caz!
If you ever wish to email me, my new email address is: holly.wood49@yahoo.com
Hugs
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